Eda's World

I had a vision Monday morning when I was lying on my bed. I was doing my yoga breathing to stop the cramps in my diaphragm. The last two times I jumped rope in the morning my abdomen started cramping during my 20 minute run after. I'm cramping on the right side so I know it isn't a heart attack. Anyway, while I'm breathing, I can feel my heart fluttering. I remember my mom having panic attacks at this age, and her monthly cycle becoming hemorrhaging instead of bleeding. I'm reaching that stage where stuff is going to start going haywire or just dropping the fuck off. Yikes. Well, I keep breathing and calming myself. Then I hear something in my head. "Not Enough". The panic attack I was staving off was about not enough. I really sat with thought and tried to see how deeply part of me the statement was. Down to the fucking bone, apparently. If you cut me in half, 'not enough' would be printed on every ring. I have felt this way before. I have trouble b...

Wow. 9/11 took me to a dark place. I woke up in a weird mood. Not bad, just pensive. Everyone who came in for massage were close friends so no stress there. I just felt like a wet cat, out of sorts and angry. I realized I was angry with 9/11. It wouldn't go away. It was a yearly celebration of my last preconceived notions being dashed on the rocks in front of me. It is the anniversary of the TSA becoming a facist police force; of speaking out no longer being loyal dissent but TREASON!. Habeas Corpus was suspended, and we as a country started performing extraordinary rendition(flying a foreign citizen to another country that allows torture). We now have political prisoners. I will always have a problem with that. America is not a monarchy, and it shouldn't keep political prisoners. Period. I'm not bothering to argue about it. It is one of the things this country is founded on. No more kings. The day took so much out of me I hid both my days off. Usually, I have a whole ...

I am so happy with youtube right now. I found the ENTIRE film of Watership Down on there. The whole damn movie. I'm so excited. Tommy gave me a beautiful iron rabbit as a thank you for helping put on the HIV/AIDS wellness fair. I had never read the WD book and he was shocked. He was like 'you have to! the El-ahrairah stories are the best part of the stories and they are hardly in the movie.' SO I amazoned the book and got the 70s Avon version with the blonde rabbit on front like I remembered from the Springtown Library. It was awesome. I loved it. I really need to find another adjective other than awesome. I use it for everything and I can't even surf! SO I'm thinking I should really not be doing the Bill and Ted impersonation. I love the rabbit mythology and it really inspired me for my Rats of Green Park. I'm done writing the first book, but I mentioned a Great Toothed One as the Rat/Squirrel God. He lives below instead above because the Rats feel safer in...