Eda's World

Scott left for work this morning at 7am. I had rolled out of bed with him and made his lunch. I wanted to go back to bed when I woke up this morning, but I couldn't. last night I woke up about 3-4x. My neck was sore, and I needed to shift around. I kept waking up curled into a ball. I would turn over, squint at the clock, groan at the ungodly hour, and plop back staring at the ceiling wondering why I was up. I drank yesterday. I was ready to sleep at 7pm. We stayed up until 11:30p, before crashing. I should have slept like I was in a coma. I wanted to. Sunday was a corker. I woke up at 7am pulled on workout gear, made a banana cashew chocolate protein smoothie then cursed myself. Workout was 5 min away. If I downed this, I'd puke 5 minutes later. I grabbed an Ace cold pak out of the freezer. Drank what I could of the smoothie as I drove then wrapped the glass in the ice pak and a t-shirt I found in my floorboard. (Isn't that sanitary as all fuck?) I won't go ...

My, oh my, that was a workout. We went to Hill st. Park, split into two teams then sprinted 3 times up it, and we held a plank when the other team was sprinting up. I couldn't sprint. I jogged until I hit the first parking sign then I walked while blowing like a racehorse. I stopped at the second sign to breathe and focus on slowing down my heart and calm my breathing for 5 deep breathes then jog it in to the top. Yes it sucked beyond suckness!!! But I did it. We finished by run/jog up around Signal Hill, 50 squats at the Promenade then down Skyline to Cherry, back up to park, bear crawl to picnic benches then run/jog back to park on Hill and temple. I didn't run the whole time. I finished 20 minutes behind everyone else, but I finished. I think the Zen of those crazy workouts is the rotating thought in my head..."I didn't die. I thought I was going to, but I didn't die." All of it has been about facing my fears. All of it, the fears I know about and the ones ...

This weekend is going to be crazy town for me! I'm booked for Mother's day Sat/Sun. Friday can book up still. Tomorrow I have my Guinot training class in the morning, so it's still work related on my day off. SO today I have nothing planned. I'm going to walk the dog, pay rent then come back home, and work on my book. I promised myself I would. It is going to be a total PJ day. I've been doing my cleanse, but I can't commit to it. I keep going off plan. A bit of chocolate, a glass of wine with a friend, I'm self-sabotaging all over the place. I'm a little disturbed by how much I think of food. If it was sex, I'd be a total pervert or a 16 year old boy. Deciding my meal is an actual though process, what have I got, what can I make or buy? Love thinking about it. We watch food competitions, and I pause the TV to tell Scott what I would make with the stuff in the mystery basket/required ingredients/inspiration. The scary thing is I'm getting to the ...