Eda's World

Two weeks ago I died, or at least another version of me did. Scott, Schultz and I went out on a Christmas light adventure about 8pm, Thurs 12/9. We decided to swing by the old house to check it out. We pulled out on 7th street and got into the left turn lane at Redondo. Yes, my turn signal was on. Traffic was staggered just perfectly, so I couldn't comfortably make the turn. I waited for the light to turn yellow to turn. As it turned yellow, two cars pulled out from driveways that were 20-30 ft away from intersection. The closest one cut off the one behind to make it to the left lane facing us and swerve to make the light. The car behind him, gunned it because she was pissed, and almost nailed us. I had begun to turn left because all the traffic passed. I see these assholes burn rubber to the beat the light. I have dipshit number one at my right, so I can't swerve that way, and I have little Miss Thunder Cunt barreling right at me. Total Kobiashi Maru. No right answer....

Oh. My. God. I suck. When did I start sucking this hard? Left, right, left, right--wait? What are we doing now? Agh, goddamn I hate my feet. They are so in the way. How long are we doing this damn step? And stretch. Holy crap, how long have I missed shaving this patch of hair behind my knee? This is literally the internal dialogue I had with myself while doing a 30 minute belly dance/Pilates video.I found on You Tube. Why, you ask? I have a herniated disc in my lumbar spine. It's a pain that I now know has been plaguing me for over a decade. I need to rehab after spending the last three months getting functional. In August I was using a cane because I was in such pain. I used massage and acupuncture to get better. I started swimming then got a shooting pain in my left shoulder. Had to modify my swim stroke. I trying to pick up my bellydancing practice again. I hated performing, but I loved dancing. It taught me posture, breathing, and muscle isolations that I st...

Hello darlings,    Thursday I bunked out and went to my spa wife's house and cuddled her new baby. I know, crazy right?!?!? I cleaned my house, swam for 30 minutes, then I got a text from my girl Sara. She just had a baby Sunday. She asked if I was going to come visit her and the new baby. I said "Of course." The weird thing is, I'm not into kids. But I love my friend and I knew she was preparing for this life change. I show up to her house and she has this new human and he loves me. So, I decided to leave my emotional issues behind and love him right back. I spent the next three hours loving him right back. Such a cutie. It was nice to sit and chat with Sara and Carlos. They are baby drunk, it's so cute. I had London curled up in my arm. I had brought Starbucks and anti bacterial soap as requested. It was such a lovely time together. It surprised me. The older I get the more I realize ideas I had in my 20s are still buried in me until I get the oppo...

I read Wiesel's "Night" in high school. It was a total gut punch to my young mind. I was a morbid little shit then; and by that time had watched countless footage, and read endless books on genocide, crime, serial killers, and satanism(which was big in the 80s for some gawdawful reason. I blame post 70s coke orgies/baby boomer guilt. God is coming for you, you filthy hippies, and Satan is going to eat your children. Or some such nonsense like that.) But Wiesel humanized the bulldozed piles of bodies, and the beady-eyed shrunken skulls peering from filthy barracks. These were people. People that had been hounded from their homes, stripped of their possessions and protections by the law, and eventually railroaded to their deaths. Each had their soul exploded by hopelessness, their humanity stripped from them by a dead-eyed bureaucracy. Sweet little Anne Frank shared the innocence of childhood, and the fears of hiding on the good graces of friends and ex-employees. Wiese...

OH dear god, what a month! Closed on a house, hosted three UK relatives in our tiny house with half of the house packed in boxes, and now less than a week after getting my new house keys and my relatives flying home I find myself in a resort on the shores of Lake Texoma. It's the last Peters/Easter family reunion my second cousin Marla is putting together. I had to come. I'm so glad I did. I just sat listening to family ghost stories over steaks. Everyone had a story. Some were shadows that disappeared when they looked at them, one was a mean ghost that was terrorizing two granddaughters, my father recalled an antebellum ghost that used to pace the halls of a house we lived in when I was infant. I also heard some scandalous stories. My father's grandmother apparently was a terror. When my dad's younger brother John was born she was devastated.She wanted a granddaughter. The nurses at the maternity ward caught her trying to switch John's wristband with the baby g...

Yes, I was a lump under my covers this morning. Scott left ass early in the morning to go to a sub job. He was wigging out from waking up late, so I hopped up made the coffee and packed his lunch. I was going to drift off, but I started sipping my coffee. I made a TV tunnel in the blankets and turned on Netflix. The dog and the cat played pet tetris with my curled up body. We all settled in for a quick 5 episode binge of the new season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Seriously, I love you Tina Fey. I was in a weird place this week. I decided to hide for a bit and regroup. This morning I decided 'Fuck Friday' they can do it without me. The boys and I watched 2.5 hours of Kimmy. I found my Happy Smurf again. I cleaned, walked the dog, bought lunch at Hole Mole. I wasn't even bummed I forgot to wear my Fitbit for my little walking spree. I wrote my newsletter, updated my service menu on Styleseat, and posted art pics on my massagebyeda instagram account. That's a lot of ...

I keep crying. I was making my grandmother's broccoli cheese casserole about a week ago. I add green chili powder to the recipe. I noticed I was almost out. We bought that in Santa Fe, when we went to visit grandmother and Floyd in 2005. Suddenly, my eyes filled with tears. I stopped and really acknowledged that I was sad she had died. She had faded for years, so I had really lost her years ago. I still felt melancholy she was gone. That was the beginning of it. I keep crying. Unexpected moments I well up. Nothing really sets me off. I'm tired. Sunday I caught my heel on a booth and tripped. I was getting up to leave the sushi joint next door to my work. I was with a client/friend. We had dinner and wine. I was tired from work. I've been tired a lot. I'm wondering how my iron is doing. My blood work was good. But I've been tired. I hit my head. Hard. I have a striped scar behind my ear where I smacked the metal bench next to me. I was so embarrassed. I don...

Ok. It’s 4pm and I’m sitting down to write. I’m actually okay with that. Things I’ve done today: Watched 2 episodes of Jessica Jones Went to workout Walked dog Washed dishes Made last blue apron meal from last week Ate it Cleaned back yard Vacuumed Swept and mopped kitchen and bathroom Bought toilet paper Gave dog a bath Had a good moment with Josh in backyard. Talked about Bowie. Joined Junior League of Long Beach What I’d like to get done: Start a goodreads author page Book a reading Blog on Aunt DADA Sort my closet and drawers Register on Blue Anthem Contact realtor Message the Ravenmaster again Make a household budget It felt good to workout again. I’m sore as hell right now. I’ve backslid so much. I’m having to fight my mind again. My strength is nothing like it used to be. Everything is a struggle. We start the class with a run every time. Everyone else does a long run, I do the short run. It takes me about the same time....

Eda Lilla Beitman Whitehead Obituary Eda Lilla Beitman Whitehead died of natural causes Sunday January 3, 2016. She was in her home surrounded by family and good friends. Her beloved companion of 22 years, Floyd Lundschen was by her side. It was a peaceful ending to an amazing life. She had traveled the world, climbed the Matterhorn in Switzerland, took Cordon Bleu classes, became an architect after birthing five children, built two homes that still stand in Santa Fe NM, and South Fork, CO, raced cars in the 50s, and brought a feisty elegance to anything she put her mind to. She was preceded in death by her eldest daughter Sherry Baird Bando. Eda Whitehead is survived by her sister Mary Jane Winter(Fort Worth, Tx), her children: Son Greg Whitehead, his wife Linda, & their son Harrison(Fort Worth, Tx), Son Chaplain Arthur Whitehead & his wife Linda(Denver, Co), Daughter Priscilla Whitehead Cox(Reno, Tx), Daughter Jan Easter and her husband Chuck(Reno, Tx), Granddaughter...

I was planning to go to workout this morning after blowing it off last night. I blearily peeked my head out of the covers about 8:30am. It was pissing down rain. I decided, nope. Not happening. I blew off yoga tonight. I was too warm and comfortable to leave the house. My clients both had to cancel their massages. One was sick, one got burnt by her dermatologist. I was fine with that. I needed to write my grandmother's obituary. It was nice to have the time to focus on it. I guess it's right and proper for me to write it. She paid for my journalism degree. I've had a chance to use it the past couple of months. My Uncle David died Oct 20 and I wrote his obituary. I've spent years avoiding writing. Torturing myself about not doing it. It's like the diet I'm never on but always should be. It's a damn shame it took the deaths of close family to force me into to fearlessly writing. I kept having to tell myself it doesn't have to be Shakespeare, but I want...

I saw the text in the Whole Foods Lane 5. I was running in to buy a lemon to slice and put in my client's water. I had grabbed a piece of pizza, cold coffee, tonic water, and a scone for lunch and snacks. I was coming in hot from Irvine where I'd done a 90 minute massage, scrub, and scalp treatment on a favorite client of mine. I started late because I helped her put her Christmas stuff up in the attic. 15 minutes tops. Then she added a scalp treatment so it became 2 1/2 hours, and there went my cushion to get my ass to the spa. No biggie, just glad I always add time to my appointments. I'm in Whole Foods with a headful of nonsense I need to take care of. I pull my phone out of my purse. It's on silent, but I can feel it buzzing. I'm not sure if the phone was set to buzz, or I just sensed the shitstorm of texts in my purse. "Mom passed away midday today. I love you. I am so glad she is out of pain." At first I thought it was MY mom, and I almost fain...

I wish my laptop was waterproof. My best speeches and diatribes flow while I'm lathering. Fulsome fierce rants gurgle down the drain along with my soap suds. I peer in the foggy mirror while toweling off. It's a thousand yard stare. By the time I have my pants on my mind has already clicked into daily bullshit mode. It kills me. I took a whole week off between Christmas and New Year's. I was exhausted in so many ways. We set a lot of goals this year, and hit the ground running. I can't say I got organized or learned to budget myself better, but I can say I moved my business, ran my household, supported my husband in his journey from house painter to educator.  He's doing amazing and is on track to get a good teaching position in Long Beach or Newport/Mesa. He is enjoying making connections in the teaching world, and his kids love him. He also gets to spend more time with his sister and her family, because frequently our niece and nephew are in the classes he tea...