Eda's World

Oh my god, we are sooo sick. I went down last night in the last half of my three hour chair massage stint at CSULB. I love those kids. It's been like five years since I've started doing that and the kids always come back and get their three minutes. I'm amazed that three minutes can make such a difference. It's kind of a challenge for me. I hit the timer button on my phone and burn through that three minutes. Full concentration for three hours, all the while answering questions of the passing students. How long are the massages? Is there a list? How long until my name gets called? I had a coughing fit and I felt like my left eyeball was going to explode. I had to cancel my 6:30 pm massage and move her to Monday. I prayed I'd wake up feeling better. I've been taking the wellness shot at Whole Foods since Saturday. (Tequila like shot of ginger lemon tumeric and apple. I always do the puke shiver after drinking it. You know the one: is this staying down cramp?) T...

It's been four days and I'm still having trouble thinking straight. Last night is the first time I didn't pass out at 9:30pm. I finally felt like I slept normally. I got my ass up and went to boot camp. Scott was home sick. When I got back, I washed my hands before putting up the clean dishes. The water was grey when I rinsed my hands. I love that I get filthy during workout. I feel like I don't get sick because I'm exposed to germs regularly. We workout at the bandshell at 7th and Park. There is a couple of homeless guys with their dog that sleep under the covered bit. I'm sure we are the most irritating 9am wake-up call ever! Can you imagine 6 spandexed bitches, and three dogs all chattering away like myna birds descending on you at 9am? The really funny thing is no one bothers the other. They shuffle around, pack up, eat breakfast and head out without any problem. We run, we bitch, we share what we are freaking out about that week. What we have to pick up, ...

So, I called my mom in early July. She had been laid up with a bum knee, and arthritic hips. We start jabbering about life and such. I asked her about the storms that plagued their spring. Dad had been interviewing repair guys last time I talked to them. The storm tore the hell out of their peach tree, but the peaches left were some of the best they'd had in a long time. Mom: Biggest, juiciest, damn peaches you ever wrapped your lips around. I just can't figure out how to keep the damn Bigfoot off my peach tree. Me: Wait. What? Mom: OH! I haven't told you? Me: No. I would have remembered that. Mom: WELL! Your father was folding laundry in the garage and he walks into the living room and says, 'Jan, something just growled at me.' I say WHAT? Now, you know your father. He never gets rattled by anything. He said it was so deep it vibrated his chest. I asked, 'Could it be the panther?' (SIDENOTE: Texas is full of crazy fuckers, especially rich crazy ...

My friend Liz got married last Saturday. It was awesome. We did full on Gatsby attire in a restored Art Deco Penthouse that looked over the LA skyline. I looked at the best man Ric and asked, "Do you ever stop, look around and think 'how did I manage to get here?'" He shrugged, "No." I tried to explain, "I mean like something is so cool, and so beautiful that you're amazed you get to be here." He smiled, "Yes, I have felt lucky like that." We give each other a quiet fist bump, and gaze once more at the glittering city. It was an elegant wonderful evening. Scott and I bailed around 11pm. I had a long day of massage ahead of me. I have to leave by 9:30 am the next morning. I wake the next morning, make coffee, feed the pets, drag the trash can out to toss the cat food can, and stare in bleary horror at the trail of maggots on the rug in front of the oven. Shudder. I pull myself together. I am an adult. I will not run screami...

So, Scott had this gig at Malone's June 27. I'm partying, eating street tacos on the smoking patio in back of bar, and I get this text: Kirsten: Found Schultz in driveway. Put him back in house. Can't find how he got out. Me: OMG Thank you!!! Will check fence tomorrow. That should have been it. It wasn't. The next morning I'm walking Schultz before a busy ass day at the spa, and a neighbor on the corner comes running out of his house, waving his arms. "Eda! Eda! Wait! Oh thank God Schultz is still alive!?" I squint at him, fighting my hangover to understand what he just said. "Whaddya mean, 'Thank God he's alive!'?" His eyes were huge. "YOU didn't notice he was out last night?" "I got a text that Kirsten found him in the driveway and put him in the house. I think we accidentally locked him out when Scott was loading the amps and guitar." Sean shook his head. "Holy shit. You have no idea w...

I first met Terry Pratchett in the early 90s. I was trolling the aisles at Half Price Books when I found him in the fantasy section. No, he wasn't wedged on the shelf made of raw pine 2x4s. Acres and Acres of Books had the same shelves. I consider it the mark of a serious bookseller/hoarder when they could give a shit about staining the wood just put the damn things up; they have piles of books waiting to be rescued. Wyrd sisters was facing out toward the aisle, just daring me to read the blurb. One of the only US editions of his novels available at the time. I bought it. Pratchett's words are like taking a hit of crack. You ride the high until the last page then you must have more. There was none to be had. I scoured the countryside until I found a wonky little comic book/anime shop hidden in a strip mall in Arlington TX. I could order his paperback books from the UK for the precious sum of $15. Mind you, I was a college student with a cashier job. I couldn't afford my ele...