I'd be the Worst Mom Ever
It's a good thing I don't have kids. I'd be the worst mom ever! I was walking Schultz around the neighborhood. I was on the phone with a girlfriend. There was a squirrel on the power lines above, and Shultz lost his mind for a bit. I looked up, and the squirrel was looking at us. It climbed down from the wires on top of a 2X4 nailed to the side of the pole. It watched us then climbed halfway down the pole to stare at my dog as if to say: "You know what I can do that you can't? Climb." I was squinting up at the squirrel and said, "If you hit one of those transformers and explode I'm going to laugh my ass off." It stared implacably back at me. Schultz and I walked on. There was a squirrel laying on the ground next to another electric pole that was beside the school a few blocks away from my house. I was struck with guilt. Oh No! I was only kidding universe! I felt terrible. We approached the poor little guy. His paws were curled in,...