Eda's World

7/13/17 Making chicken and dumplings for Scott. He didn't get the job, and was never called for an interview. He feels defeated. I told him he had until Monday to be bummed then it's back on the horse. I'm bummed too. I really wanted this for him, and me. The benefits would have been great for us. He needs the security of a job. Not having one so long has destroyed his confidence in his abilities, despite all the letters from students, and compliments from parents. He's a good teacher. He's dedicated, the kids like him, he gets along with his co-workers. It's just hard out there to get work. Two people canceled last night. I was hitting my weekly numbers until that happened. I'm too tired from jujitsu to be stressed over it. Mission accomplished, I guess? Summer is slow. I'm okay for now. I'm doing my best, and that's all I can do. I keep reading Cracked.com and I'm trying to summon the courage to try to write for them again. I logged on...

Thursday 7/6 I just got back from jujitsu. Why do I feel fatter? It was a tough week emotionally. I wanted to get my newsletter out before I did, but I just couldn't write. I hated every word I wrote. It all seemed clunky and boring. I just wasn't in to it like I wanted to be. I have to push myself because business is slow, and I have to re-connect to get people on my table. It is a never ending circle of pushing myself out there to keep my business healthy. I had to really focus on my writing mantra: Be brave enough to let the imperfect exist. I use that for so many of my fears about pushing myself. I didn't want to go to jujitsu today, but I made myself and I was happy I did. I had rung my bell pretty bad last Tuesday. I rolled back wrong and landed like a flat rock instead of rolling like a graceful walnut. Knocked the wind out of myself, and gave myself mild whiplash on the front of my neck. I made myself go 10 minutes early and practice rolling falls backward. I...