Bacon Souffle
News from the Eda front! Homework has been completed! Yes, folks, you heard me right--the homework has been completed. A day late, but done none the less.Hurrah-bloody hurrah for me.
Got a disturbing note in the mail, along with some money, and some clothes I had commissioned in May. It was a plea for friendship from a friend I quit speaking to in mid-September. I feel like a shit not responding to it, but she and her husband have been erratic the past year in their behavior and I just don't feel emotionally safe around them anymore. They were the origin of our new battlecry "Is EVERYBODY on CRACK?!"
I've heard so many fucked up stories from friends who are having people go into meltdown and turn into complete douche-bags. So, I can't decide how smart it will be to let that back into my life. She was a big part of my life for three years, but I haven't died of loneliness the past month either. I'm glad I'm not driving to San Pedro 2-3 times a week. I was tired of performing for people. I like to dance, but I prefer to do it in my underwear, in the dark, and in complete privacy. Can I hear a hallelujah from the chorus? Thank ya, gawd-dess! Some of us have private groove things.
She wrote an elegant note, returned some of the money I paid her for the clothes, since they took six months, and said she really missed me as a friend. The thing is, I don't want to pay $65 for a dance class to hang out with her. She isn't certified, and she isn't teaching straight-up ATS, so we can't dance with other dancers. She has done some morally shady selfish things I felt weird about, The pants she made me fell apart because they were only serged at the seams, the others just hang funky and look bad in photos. I know it wasn't her fault her husband over-reacted, but in her silence she condoned his actions. And those two can be very self-righteous about things, you know that weird hippie arrogance like "Our shit smells like organic broccoli, bitch." They've fucked up their standing in the art community with a very public arguement with one of the big pigs in the scene, they called the bomb squad on one of artists at Angels gate, and a million other things that just didn't hang right by the 3rd re-telling. I feel like a bitch, but a smart one. I don't want to go through that emotional wringer again, and judging from the shitstorm they've started with everyone else, it would only be a matter of time before it haooened again.
But it was a really pretty note...
Got a disturbing note in the mail, along with some money, and some clothes I had commissioned in May. It was a plea for friendship from a friend I quit speaking to in mid-September. I feel like a shit not responding to it, but she and her husband have been erratic the past year in their behavior and I just don't feel emotionally safe around them anymore. They were the origin of our new battlecry "Is EVERYBODY on CRACK?!"
I've heard so many fucked up stories from friends who are having people go into meltdown and turn into complete douche-bags. So, I can't decide how smart it will be to let that back into my life. She was a big part of my life for three years, but I haven't died of loneliness the past month either. I'm glad I'm not driving to San Pedro 2-3 times a week. I was tired of performing for people. I like to dance, but I prefer to do it in my underwear, in the dark, and in complete privacy. Can I hear a hallelujah from the chorus? Thank ya, gawd-dess! Some of us have private groove things.
She wrote an elegant note, returned some of the money I paid her for the clothes, since they took six months, and said she really missed me as a friend. The thing is, I don't want to pay $65 for a dance class to hang out with her. She isn't certified, and she isn't teaching straight-up ATS, so we can't dance with other dancers. She has done some morally shady selfish things I felt weird about, The pants she made me fell apart because they were only serged at the seams, the others just hang funky and look bad in photos. I know it wasn't her fault her husband over-reacted, but in her silence she condoned his actions. And those two can be very self-righteous about things, you know that weird hippie arrogance like "Our shit smells like organic broccoli, bitch." They've fucked up their standing in the art community with a very public arguement with one of the big pigs in the scene, they called the bomb squad on one of artists at Angels gate, and a million other things that just didn't hang right by the 3rd re-telling. I feel like a bitch, but a smart one. I don't want to go through that emotional wringer again, and judging from the shitstorm they've started with everyone else, it would only be a matter of time before it haooened again.
But it was a really pretty note...
For what it is worth, In my past, I have cut a lot of people from my life because of differing opiions in moral character. At one point, I cut so many people from my life that there was hardly anybody left.
ReplyDeleteSo now, when someone extends an olive branch, I tend to accept -- but at the same time I establish very different expectations and boundries within the revived relationship. (i.e., no dance class, or commissioned clothing, just peace and an occasional "hey, how are you?")
It makes my life a lot less complicated.
Best,
Deb